A New Adventure Part II

Pr. Dan & Pr. Lucy’s Foster Parenting FAQ

 

  • Why are you doing this? We’re not saints! We’re not superheroes. We’re ordinary Christians who feel that God has loved us so well, and blessed us so generously with a home and other resources, that we want to share that love, safety, and comfort with kids who need it.
  • What kind of children are you looking for? In short – the ones God brings us! We expect to be licensed for ages 0-18, and we’ve said we’re willing to take sibling groups. We suspect we’ll get calls about a wide range of kids, and we’ll ask questions each time we get a call to see if we feel able to offer the care and love those particular kids need. So we’ll see!
  • Aren’t you afraid that you will get attached? That’s the goal! We want to get attached, even though we know it will be hard & heartbreaking. Getting attached is one of the most important skills that we learn as young children – and kids in foster care sometimes have trouble getting attached. The problem is, it’s really hard to learn that skill later in life, and it can cause all sorts of struggles for them. So one of our biggest goals is to love these kids with our whole hearts and attach to them in a really significant way.
  • How long before the children will be yours? From the moment they enter our lives, we think of these kids as “ours” – at least, for as long as they’re with us. (See getting attached above!) But we also assume that many kids will go home or to other biological family, which is always the first goal of foster care. We are open to God leading us to adopt kids, if that became the best plan for them and we were in a position to do that. But we’re taking this one step at a time, and we’re going into this planning and wanting to be the best foster parents we can be.
  • Are you going to have kids of your own? These are our own kids! (See above.) We know what people are asking – Do we plan to have children who share our DNA? We’re not planning on it – which is a longer conversation about how God has led us – but just like we’re open to God leading us to adopt, we’re open to whatever God might do in our lives!
  • What did their parents do to them? Why are they in foster care? No matter which kids you ask this about, our answer will always basically be the same: all kids are in foster care because their parents or family who were supposed to care for them were unable. This is most often because of abuse or neglect of some kind, and they are working to fix the problems so that they can be the caregivers that the children need. We’re providing a safe, loving home while they work on that. We won’t say any more about specifics – we can’t, legally, and we wouldn’t want to violate the privacy of families and especially the children.
  • How can parents do this to their children?! Don’t hate on their parents. Ever. Especially if there’s *any* way the kids might overhear you. They may have made mistakes – big ones – but they’re still family, and it’s really important that these children not hear people (especially people who really don’t know their story) badmouthing their parents. One phrase we’ve heard that really resonates with us: We’re not the Saviors – God is, and the biological family aren’t the enemy – Sin is.
  • These children are so lucky/blessed to have you! Not a question, we know, but this is one of the most common things people say. And we appreciate what they want to affirm – we hope to be able to bless kids and families at a stressful time of crisis. We want to be a blessing. But we also know that these kids are NOT lucky. They’re incredibly UNlucky – they’ve been taken from the family and home and life they know, and placed with strangers, without any say in the matter themselves. They’re traumatized – and coming to live with us is part of that trauma.

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